Things to Type for Delivery Driver Funny
They say that not all heroes wear capes, and no one exemplifies this more than the brave men and women who hop in their cars (or on bikes) and deliver food straight to our doors every day. Not only are delivery people amazing because they're the reason you never have to interrupt your Netflix binge to find sustenance, they often indulge our "special instructions" to give us the bizarre service we crave. Here are some of the funniest, most insane, straight-up WTF?! delivery instructions the Internet has to offer. Delivery people, we thank you.
"Clap three times and do a back flip."
According to TipThePizzaGuy.com user Blonde One, a customer once asked for him to clap three times and do a back flip when delivering his pizza. Blonde One didn't oblige, but considering the request involved exercise, we can't exactly blame him.
"Don't talk to my daughter, she's got a case of the boy crazies."
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At least Dad has a sense of humor?
Pizza? McDonald's? Why choose?
Get you a delivery man that can do both.
Source: Imgur
"There is a sombrero on the front steps..."
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How do you say "I hate my job" in Spanish?
"Get in car, turn key, drive."
These are the "special instructions" some customers left for BenKenobi. With all the out of hand requests for special pictures that delivery people get, you have to appreciate this sarcastic request.
"Ask if she pooped today."
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Props to this hilarious husband for being so concerned about his wife's digestive health, even though pizza isn't really considered the kind of fiber-rich diet the constipated need. Maybe next time he should also make sure the pie's topped with these foods, just to be safe.
"Draw a dragon fighting a flamingo."
Source: Craveonline.com
Requests for drawings on pizza boxes are super overdone, but you have to admit that this dragon fighting a flamingo is pretty epic.
"Walk to the garage and start singing the Batman theme song."
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We'd deliver in full Batman costume for that $50 tip.
"Make it like you're taking revenge on a cheating boyfriend..."
Now here are some people that really understand how to describe the perfect crust (and also keep some interesting company).
Source: tastefullyoffensive.com
Sometimes the trick is the Little Caesar's slogan.
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But did he wear the toga too?
"Asked the driver to pick us up more beer — he came through."
Bless this delivery person.
Source: pizzainstructions.tumblr.com
"I had to politely tell them that was not offered."
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Forget pineapple on pizza, it's all about the fruit snacks.
Pizza and poetry, a winning combination.
This delivery dude is totally on top of his reddit game. His penmanship, on the other hand ...
Source: pizzainstructions.tumblr.com
"Do NOT go to the front door."
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This kid is going places.
When pizza delivery gets NSFW.
What we really want to know is, did they do it? And if so, HOW?
Source: pizzainstructions.tumblr.com
Delivery address: Party Bus.
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Pizza and a party bus? How can we get in on this.
"Cut into pentagram."
Ummm, yeah, sure ... why not?
Source: damnlol.com
"I don't want my wife to know I'm cheating on my diet."
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Doctors, they're just like us.
"Cut it like a Pokeball."
We're pretty obsessed with Pokeballs too (especially in Oreo form), so we can't even judge.
Source: Smosh.com
Bachelorette parties get wild y'all.
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At least they're eating their veggies.
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Source: https://www.delish.com/food/a51629/these-are-20-of-the-funniest-delivery-requests-of-all-time/
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